What Dating Mistakes Are you Making
by Sam Eye
If I had a single girl super power it’d be the ability to make mistakes. Yes, there’s power in that. See I have a habit of making the same mistake more than once. For good measure. Yeah, let’s go with that.
It’s Friday night and I’m sitting here. Silently stewing about a situation that for me is actually a first. Surprise, I haven’t made this mistake before. I won’t again. In the words of Taylor Swift, “Never ever.” I’m not sure how to write about it.
There’s a thin line between privacy & secrecy. It’s equal parts both. The line between right & wrong however is much easier to decipher.
The thing about mistakes is that we usually look back and say, “Gee golly wiz I shouldn’t have done that.” I’m fully acknowledging I’m in the midst of making a mistake. That’s right. Monumental fuck up. My dating kryptonite are my feelings. Once those fuckers are loose it’s a done deal. The coy woman who reeled the catch in has taken a dive off the deep end. Literally & figuratively. Except wait, dare I say I learned from my past mistakes? I freak out on the inside but I appear cool as a cucumber. You know how much work that takes? To want to but not lose your shit on somebody?! This is learning moment for us all. Keep your cool.
Let’s call him Big Fun. To me that’s what he is. And unbeknownst to him that’s how he’s saved in my phone. At the moment however he’s a big let down. See if we go back a few months it was butterflies & sweetness. Isn’t it always in the beginning though? I guess this is where we either sink or swim. Drowning in my tears feels inevitable. The thing about it is though it was doomed from the beginning but everything I was feeling said ignore it. So I did. Note to self: don’t listen!
If I don’t like something I say so. I usually suck at that. I haven’t cried. Shedding tears, now I’m good at that. I’ve actually found calling him a jackass to myself to be extremely therapeutic. I recommend this. Every fiber of being wants to curse him out and say, “get it the fuck together!” But it’s not him. It’s me. I need to say that to myself. So now what…
I’ve been at this single girl thing for awhile. It might be hard to believe I was “with” someone. I use “with” because he fell into the category of men who like you, care for you even, but have no intention of committing to you. That’s me, the pretty suitcase circling baggage claim; waiting for someone to realize I’m more than just nice to look at and convenient to hold, but worth actually owning.
It’s been longer than I care to admit or calculate since I’ve had a boyfriend. On the flip side, I’m rarely at a loss when it comes to the attention or entertainment of men. If you’re a smart single girl, which I know you are, then neither are you. I call it a Rolodex, it’s filled with a variety of the types of men a girl might need on her way to finding the one. I mean that’s what we want right? I do. One man who gives me what at times it takes two or three to do.
Advertisement
Here are my top three. In no particular order because rank fluctuates:
The one who likes you more than you like him
He’s sweet. Good on paper. But that something, it’s missing. You know what I mean, that somethin’ somethin’. When it comes to mine, we laugh, he tells me I’m pretty & that he misses me. It’s all very nice but he’s not the one.
The one you like more than he likes you
You’re probably thinking, huh? But yes, this is what we file under necessary evils. See when you like someone your different. You smile. You laugh. There’s a pep in your step. You’re vulnerable. It’s good to be in constant communication with these things. I call it practice. All men are not created equal not when it comes to dating. For me, he gives me butterflies, drives me crazy & in the end it won’t be me + him = commitment. It is what it is.
The Wild Card
An unlikely suitor. He comes from behind out of nowhere and kind of just like that makes himself a spot. When it comes to my wild card I spent a significant amount of time talking to him. We just really got to know each other. When we finally did go on a date it went well enough. Speaking candidly, which is what I do best I’d say it’s what happened when we spent some time horizontally, if you catch my drift that secured his spot. Add in that he takes me out regularly, treats me really nice and that’s as close to a keeper as this girls got at the moment.
The journey to Mr. Right can be a long one. It doesn’t have to be a lonely one as long as you’re honest with yourself about the role the different men in your life play.
It’s okay to spend time with Mr. Right Now just don’t get so stuck on him that you forget you really deserve, Mr. Right.
In the words of Mae West, “you only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
