Missouri SBDC at SEMO

Developing Your Dating Method

by John Max

Keeping in theme with creating your own method that works for you, I decided to let you guys in on how I go about creating my guides. Why? As cheesy as it may sound "fail to plan, then you plan to fail". And the best plan is one that works specifically for you. I don't publish these guides for you to copy step-by-step, I publish them so that you may find elements that work for you.

Here's a sneak peek at the process of my next guide, which won't release until Autumn at the earliest:

What are your goals?

Indirect game, direct game, natural? In the case of my next guide, my goal is to focus strictly on sexuality. When you're creating your method, you need to be consistent. You can't just switch from indirect to direct. This game is all about congruency. Brides will test you to see if you are consistent. Go from one extreme to the other, and you're likely going to freak her out or she's going to go cold on you.

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How plausible are your goals?

This is more about the time frame. Anyone can change with time. However, if it is your goal to release a guide in six months about being a billionaire, how realistic is it? You must give yourself time to...

...Research your method

Once you decide on a method, you should be reading up on anything related to it. You should also be out testing your hypothesis and recording it. For instance, you guys have been seeing an increase of posts about sexuality and looks. Why? I am recording some of my findings so that I don't forget to talk about them when the time comes to write the guide.

One other benefit is that recording your findings will cause your stream of consciousness to kick in. For instance, due to writing a lot about sexuality, the thought of how I talk to brides came to mind. I noticed that in almost all of my sexual encounters, I became very calm, relaxed, and collected priorhand.

Examples? I talk about sex, having her suck my dick, etc., but when the girl looks at me, challenging me to see if she can get me to crack, I remain calm, return the eye contact until she looks away, asserting my dominance and that it's perfectly normal to say what I say.

On another occasion, my posts caused me to realize what I've recently been doing when I call brides to set up a "date". Instead of talking about bullshit or asking for a specific date, my initial phone conversations go a little something like this...

Me: "Hey."

Her: "Hi"

Me: "When am I going to get to see you?"

Her: "When do you want to see me?"

At which point we find a day to meet up. Notice how I cut the bullshit to keep myself from screwing up, get straight to the point, but leave the day open to meet up instead of a specific date. I'm sure you get my point. Time to move on.

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What has worked for you in the past?

Is there something that you've been doing that will fit well into your method? For instance, the power play that I talk about in Assanova's Simplicity. This kind of relates to the research part. The reason I record some of my nights out on the blog, is so that when I read them like I'm doing now for my sexuality guide, I might notice little sexual things that I've done that I don't need to research.

Know the level of difficulty

This pertains to external readers if the guide isn't just for yourself. For example, The Fame Game was a beginner level guide, Simplicity intermediate, and the next one will be for advanced players only. Why? It requires that the guy have a little literary knowledge, some cash to spend, and a solid work ethic already in place.

I'm sure players of all levels are going to read your guide, but your guide should focus on a specific degree of difficulty. Why? If I were to read a more advanced guide and halfway through it, it shifted to general know-how, I wouldn't read it more than once.

Test it and put it together

This is how I figured out that the power play was best suited for when emotions were running high. Sometimes when you test something and it doesn't work, it might not be worth throwing out. It could simply be your timing. Once you get this all figured out, and find patterns, include your findings in your guide. Do this, and you'll develop a solid system that works for you, and there'll be no more shooting in the dark.